Harry's Troubles
by Whole Lotta Sarah Tribbiani
Summary: Harry sees a giant bar of chocolate in Honeydukes and instantly wants it. But he can't afford it. How will he get the money? Please R&R.
1. The Chocolate

Harry's Troubles

**Disclaime**r: JK Rowling owns Harry Potter, not me, although I can still dream...

Chapter One: The Chocolate

* * *

Harry went into the sweet shop, Honeydukes, and saw it.

The big, giant bar of Honeyduke's own homemade chocolate.

He drooled and made a little puddle on the floor. Honeydukes' caretaker had to clean it up.

The price tag on the bar said it cost fifteen galleons. Harry had kind of spent all his money on sweets.

"Why did I buy all those tacky gimmicky sweets when I could have bought this lovely bar of creamy chocolate?" he wailed.

"What about the bank, kid?" the caretaker asked.

"I can't get to Diagon Alley right now! I must earn some money!" Harry ran out of the shop and looked in every other shop window. In The Three Broomsticks there was a job vacancy sign.

Barmaid wanted.  
Pay: Ten galleons per shift (five hours).

"That's the job for me!" Harry dashed into the pub and took the job. He had to wear a frilly pink apron and serve cocktails to big burly wizards. Harry didn't mind the uniform. It very much suited him.

"Harry! Two grapefruit punches for these guys!" Madam Rosmerta called over.

"Coming up Rosmerta!" Harry quickly mixed two punches and skidded them down the bar. They slopped all over the counter.

"Harry you stupid plonker! I'm demoting you to table-scrubbing-woman, and your pay is now five galleons a day!" Madam Rosmerta screamed.

"Aaaaaawww, making cocktails was fun!" Harry grabbed a sponge and began to clean the tables.

"Oooooh! Do I know you?" asked a voice.

Harry turned round and Draco Malfoy was stood there looking flirty.

"Oooooh, I think you do, Draco!" Harry fluttered his eyelids.

"Eeurgh, Potter! Yuck, I thought you were a woman!" Draco screamed, running from the pub.

At the end of the shift, Harry received a big fat envelope containing five galleons.

"Are you working tomorrow, Harry?" Rosmerta asked.

"I can't it's Monday!" Harry wailed in dismay, "I will sneak up next Saturday."

He made his way back to Hogwarts where Ron and Hermione were finishing their last-minute homework.

"Have you done that Potions Essay, mate?" Ron asked.

"No, when's it due in?" Harry asked.

"Tomorrow."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!" Harry shrieked like a cissy.

"Harry, don't be mean to cissies!" Hermione tutted.

Harry grabbed a quill, parchment and ink and scribbled down a short essay about moonstones and doxy plop.

"There, that ought to do it," he sighed in relief, dropping his quill and rolling up his essay.

"What about the Transfiguration one?"

"You WHAT?"

"Hehe just kidding you, mate!" Ron laughed.

"But we really do have that astronomy star chart," Hermione reminded them.

"EEEEEEEEEK!" Harry grabbed some fresh parchment and drew a pretty picture of some twinkly stars.

"That's nice, Haz!" Ron grinned.

* * *


	2. Results and Rewards

Chapter Two: Results and Rewards

**Disclaimer:** Again, I don't own Harry Potter.

* * *

The next morning, Harry handed in his stupid Potions essay and got a 'D'.

"Oh, I got an 'O'! Aren't I just so brilliant!" Hermione squealed.

"No," Ron snarled, "I got another 'P'."

"For 'Poor'?" Harry asked.

"No, 'Poo'," Ron snapped.

"Oh, well I got 'D'. I think it means 'Definately better than the rest!'!"

"No, Harry! It means 'Dog Doo'," Hermione sighed.

Harry had got a rubbish mark and he stil didn't have the money for the chocolate.

At the end of the day, Harry saw a poster. It said 'Missing Toad. Will pay ten galleons for its return!'.

Harry spent the rest of the evening searching for a toad. He found it squashed under an upturned statue.

"Trevor! Oh, Trevor, my poor little boy!" Neville snatched Trevor off Harry, "You killed Trevor! I hate you!"

"Ah, Neville, Neville, Neville! I should have known it was you who put the poster up!" Harry grinned, "So, what about that reward?"

"You - you SAT on my toad!" Neville yelled, "You stink!" He punched Harry in the mouth and ran away, howling.

Hary sat and cried. He checked his pockets and felt his five galleons.

"Five down and ten to go," he muttered sadly.

"Hehehehehehehehehehe!" A voice cackled.

"Oh no, that sounds like that polter-pest Peeeeeeeeeves!" Harry screeched.

"Yeah, I know!" Peeves cackled, "I'm a right polter-pest, aren't I? What are you up to, potty?"

"I don't have five galleons," Harry hicupped, shoving the gold back in his pocket.

"Oh, OK." Peeves, being the plonker that he is, drifted off.

"Phew, I'm tired!" Harry made his way to his dormitory and went to sleep.

He had a dream...

Ron was doing the cancan on a giant clam. It opened and ate him, then spat out a treasure chest full of gold...

"Cool!" Harry cried, waking himself up, "I MUST find that tresure!"

And, forgetting the treasure didn't exist, Harry set off.

* * *


	3. A Little Bit More

Chapter Three: A Little Bit More

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Harry Potter.

* * *

The treasure, to Harry's dismay, did not exist.

"Aaaaaaw, why must I be so stupid?" he screamed to the sky, causing a flerd (as they are half eagles and half horses, they must be half flocks and half herds) of hippogriffs to go flying up into the clouds.

"Because you were born that way!" Ron yelled from a window, "Now get your butt inside!"

Harry set off back to the castle, and tripped.

"Ooooooooh, a galleon!" he giggled, noticing what he'd tripped on. He picked it up, bit it, and added it to his pocket full of treasure, "That's six galleons down, er...some more to go!"

He rushed up to the castle for hs breakfast.

Later on, Harry decided to go and visit Dobby.

"Heya Dobs! Need any help?" he asked.

"Oooooh, Harry Potter is wanting to help Dobby! Dobby would pay Harry Potter ten galleons if he helped to tend to Winky with him for one night, Harry Potter Sir!"

"OK Dobby,that sounds OK!" Harry followed Dobby into a little side room where Winky was sitting on a house-elf loo.

"Winky is having sloppy droppings, Harry Potter! We is needing you to muck out Winky's little lavatory!"

Harry groaned, pulled on some very thick protective gloves, and set to work.

"Thank you Harry Potter! You is a godsend to us elves!"

"Has you done yet, Harry Potter?" Dobby asked two hours later.

"Almost, Dobby, I just need to muck out the last little bit in the sick bucket," Harry grumbled, sluicing sick out of a mucky bucket, "THERE! FINALLY! WHOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Oh, Harry Potter, Sir!" Dobby gasped, shaking his head sadly, "Dobby is forgetting, Dobby spends all his money on socks, Sir! Dobby has only three galleons and one sickle left! Bad, BAD Dobby!"

"Oh, Dobby!" Harry moaned, but he took the money, cleaned himself up, thanked the elves and left.

Harry added up his money.

"Five plus one plus four equals?" He thought, "AHA! Nine! I have nine galleons and a sickle. I need hmmmmm...fifteen minus nine equals six, so I must need five galleons and sixteen sickles!"

"Sixteen sickles, Harry?" Seamus was at the end of the corridor, "I'd pay sixteen sickles for those cool trousers of yours, mate!"

"You've got a deal!" Harry pulled of his trousers and handed them to Seamus, who gave him sixteen sickles.

"Thanks for the business Harry! See you next time!" Seamus skipped along, swishing the trousers.

Harry was trouserless, but now had ten full galleons. Hang on a minute, which pocket was the money in...?

"SEAMUUUUUUUUUUUS! SEAMUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS!" Harry bellowed after his pal, "SEAMUS! HANG ON A MINUTE, MATE!"

Seamus froze and turned round.

"What is it?" he called.

"ACCIO MONEY!" Harry cried, and his hard-earned cash flew towards him. He counted it up - all ten galleons.

"Ta, Seamus! You can go now!"

"BYE!" Seamus left.

* * *


	4. The Last Li'l Bit

Chapter Four: The Last Li'l Bit

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Harry Potter.

* * *

Harry returned to the Common Room and screamed. Ron and Hermione were kissing.

"HARRY!" Hermione gasped, "Please - don't tell anyone about this!"

"Hmmmmmmmmmmmm...what's in it for me?" Harry asked hopefully.

"How about a galleon?"

"Two."

"One."

"Two."

"One and ten sickles."

"One and sixteen sickles."

"One and fifteen."

"Two."

"One and fifteen."

"Two - no, FIVE!" Harry suddenly remembered.

"Two."

"Five!"

"Two.

"FIVE!" Harry burst into tears and screamed like a baby, "RON AND HERMIONE WERE - "

"OK, five it is!" Hermione said quickly, handing over the gold.

"Hehehe," Harry laughed, "There's fifteen galleons! Now I can buy the chocolate!"

And he ran out of the portrait hole, even though it was night.

"Huh? Whatever," Hermione leapt on Ron again.

* * *


	5. The Glorious Moment

Chapter Five: The Glorious Moment

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Harry Potter.

* * *

Harry rushed down to the grounds, broke into the broomshed, grabbed his Firebolt, flew down to Hogsmeade, conjured up a sleeping bag, and settled down outside the door of Honeydukes. He was excited and he could hardly sleep.

"I can hardly sleep!" he cried.

In the morning, he was asleep when the sweetyshop lady opened the door. But he didn't stay awake for long. All the kids trampled all over him.

"OW! THAT'S PAINFUL!" he yelled.

"Oh, sorry dear, come on in," Mrs Sweetyshoplady said kindly, beckoning Harry into the cool, sweet-smelling sweet shop.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah..." Harry had spotted it. The bar of chocolate...

"Oooh, I see you've noticed our special offer! Reduced to clear, only ten bars left! Five galleons!"

"FIVE GALLEONS! I earned all this for nothing!" Harry wailed, "Oh well, I'll take three."

Harry left with a grin all over his face and three h-u-g-e bars of creamy, smooth, luscious chocolate in a carrier bag.

"Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh!" he drooled, "I just have to eat one right this minute!"

Harry pulled out one giant bar, unwrapped some shiny, sparkly wrapper, raised the chocolate to his lips and bit it -

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW!" he screamed, spitting and gagging, "YUCK, what was IN that?"

He checked the wrapper;

DOG FAECES

A DELICIOUS BAR OF FAECES FOR YOUR KELPIES.

THEY WILL LOVE IT!

Not intended for human consumption

Harry didn't want to think about the reason for the last line. He just retched and threw up all over the pavement in front of him.

What to do with the rest...?

Hey...

Malfoy was walking up the street with Pansy.

"Hey - HEY! MALFOY! WANT SOME OF THIS?"

The End!

* * *

Author note - yeah, I know what you're thinking. Well - I know I'M thinking "What was I playing at?" but you could be thinking something else. Anyway, please R&R! Thank you, and remember - always read the label!

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